I was just going through one of the programmes on TV, and the subject which it aired was about something very delicate and sensitive, having much wider effects and implications, and still continues to affect many amongst us. The topic was on Body Shamming, and this worked as a precursor for me, including all other things like passing personal comments, criticism for our body colour, height, physical demeanour, etc. I understand that it has its tentacles everywhere, but we often forget that it all starts from our home and immediate family and spreads like a canker from households to our workplace and society. Taboo will be a hyperbole, but for the individual who faces such criticism and shaming on a routine basis, I don’t have a better word.
We cannot change the way people talk about others, but we can always change ourselves and learn to accept people, children, and individuals, the way they are. As a teacher, I have seen the confidence of students, both bright and average, crushed by constant bullying, body shaming by friends, cracked inadvertently as a joke, by siblings, and, unfortunately, by parents. I am particularly specifying body shaming and colour. There are children who are obese naturally, and with time, their bodies acquire a particular shape that cannot be changed by any form of exercise; people can have medical or genetic issues, and one can do nothing about it. Unfortunately, parents, especially mothers, sometimes play with the psychology of a child, emotionally and mentally, by constantly touching this sensitive chord, not to forget their harsh and crude comments, saying they will not find a suitable match for marriage because they are fat, slim, or lanky ( how discouraging and sad a statement ). I have seen this in my 20 years of teaching experience.
The other side is if a person, a child, is thin. A torture the poor chap has to live with throughout. These children go through immense mental trauma, and believe me, this could be the reason for their depression, which has its genes embedded in puberty. We often criticize, bully, and pester a child if she is not tall. Whose fault is this? Why are we bullying a person if he or she is short in height? If this type of body shaming, bullying for colour takes place in our growing stage, it can have severe repercussions and many a times, unfortunately, society is unaware, oblivious of the fact that their confidence is axed just because we want kids to look a certain way in society.
When a child in his /her puberty is being bullied, tortured for looks, height, or body shape, remember they carry these living scars throughout their life. Such individuals are bullied, mocked, and looked upon sarcastically at home, by relatives, in school, by friends ( they think they are having fun ), and their life changes forever.
Learn to accept, love, and appreciate people, the way they are, for who knows what path, ordeal they have been through. Sometimes just a straw is enough to break the camel’s back, and in certain cases, people take the extreme step. Everyone is not strong enough to take such criticism. It is the moral responsibility of everyone, parents, family, and teachers, to build confidence in those who may have some body issues.
Please don’t pass personal comments or criticize someone just because he/she is fat or thin. These are immaterial things, and the true essence of an individual is their soul.
BY: Naveena Qadir